Hint: you just might be a misogynist!

To crib a line from Žižek, the headline of this editorial is intended as an elementary IQ test for the reader: some people will undoubtedly look at it and go, "Man, not those hairy-legged man-hating feminist bitches again, yelling about sexism and ruining everyone's fun!" That's fine. If you find yourself reacting this way, I sincerely advise you to put down this paper, or at least flip to the next page — better yet, the whole thing should be forcibly confiscated from you, since the point of the article has plainly gone whooshing over your head.

I'm talking, of course, about casual misogyny. While it's true that, like racism, the most overt displays of straight-up woman-hatred are (happily) nowadays unacceptable in most settings, there still remains a particularly vicious streak of stealth sexism that pervades even "liberal" spaces like universities. UofT naturally has its own share of mantastic bros with worldviews straight out of r/Seduction, and they're bad news, but what seems to be more common is the benighted moderate view that since women in North America largely have equal rights, any further criticism or demands of the establishment are simply oversensitive, entitled whining; that women should just put up or shut up.

This is certainly useful for redirecting blame back onto women and distracting people from the reality that entrenched sexism still goes on ALL THE TIME, but primarily it serves to assuage any guilt the misogynist might feel about a) how women are treated on a regular basis and b) the role that he plays in condoning or perpetuating that treatment. Even most male university students recoil and shut down when they hear terms like "male privilege" or "patriarchy" (try it sometime – it's like flipping a switch!), which is a pretty good indication of how uncomfortable they are about acknowledging social relations that disproportionately benefit them at the expense of others. I understand it; I used to be the exact same way, and when people (male or female) tried to talk to me about objectification or rape culture, my first thought was always, "I don't do that [sexist thing], why are you attacking me? It's not MY fault! Do you expect me to personally fix every jackass out there?" On occasion, criticisms of misogynists can come across as generalizations about all men, but think about it: unless you're specifically being called out, no one is lumping you in with the misogynists – you don't have to identify with them! Besides you both standing to pee, where's the commonality?

And for the love of God, please don't bring up irrelevant little factoids about how "men suffer from domestic violence", or how "women make fake rape allegations". It's not that those observations are illegitimate, it's that they're almost never brought up in good faith – instead, they're tossed off as red herrings in order to drown out and grind to a halt legitimate discussion. Sexism isn't a zero-sum game or an oppression Olympics, so why bother to disrupt a good-faith conversation about real issues? Safe spaces for dialogue are crucial to overcoming problems of discrimination, and the way a lot of guys react when they're told that hey, maybe these people can be just fine and constructive without having to be talked down to by A Man can be pretty shocking. I've lost count of the number of times I've seen things like, "Oh, you girls just don't know how to do feminism right, let me explain..." or, more commonly, a slew of gendered insults (bitch, slut, etc.) and maybe a few insults based on physical appearance for good measure.

Unfortunately, this sort of sexism is extremely common in many circles – gaming, internet, hipster, whatever. It's usually a manifestation of Nice Guy Syndrome, in which a dude "considers himself an ideal romantic partner because of his ability to offer emotional support under false pretenses, characterizes friendships that don't lead to sex as ‘failures,' demonizes extroverts, and awards himself gold stars for not hitting women or raping them."* When this delightful bundle of contradictions fails to gain any female attention, it just further reinforces his idea that women are only interested in dating moronic and quasi-abusive jerks, leaving the Nice Guy blissfully unaware of the fact that the real problems are his hypocritical values, his whiny and self-centred outlook, and his assumption that being "nice" entitles him to get laid.

This is not to suggest, however, that closet misogynists have a monopoly on sexism; the various disturbing pickup artist forums on the internet (where women are literally described as video games and all you need to get into their pants is the right walkthrough) certainly give them a run for their money. In fact, there's a lot of overlap between the two groups' attitudes: for example, the Toike Oike recently published not only an incredibly degrading cover photo of a nearly-nude girl covered only by a pair of game controllers, but also decided to class it up further by actually depicting a woman as a controller with the various buttons corresponding to parts of her body. For a pretty good idea of the general quality of the feature, consider: "Girls are also a lot better looking [than guys] (even if they seem to break down every [sic] once a month)." What's even more mind-boggling is the thought of a bunch of Toike staff guffawing at their hilarious "edgy" article while being completely oblivious to how offensive it was, tongue-in-cheek or not. If you ironically smear shit all over your face, it doesn't change the fact  that you still smeared shit on your face.