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Chandler is a delightful, single, second-year Cinema Studies major. If anyone is interested, e-mail artsandculture@thestrand.ca, and we'll hook you up.

5 Date Spots (if people date you)

By: Chandler Levack

Posted: 11/17/05

They say that 60% of married couples meet their future partner in University. That's a big and scary number. Yet, in order to meet the man/woman of your dreams (like that's even going to happen), you have to undergo the terror of the first date. Everybody knows that first dates are terrible ventures, full of snide job interview-style questions like "so where did you grow up?" and "where do you see yourself in five years?" They're also a test of everything - coolness, who can have the sweatiest palms and who will crack first and lament about their ex.

But just as important as your date etiquette is the location. The place you go defines the date and where the relationship is going. It also helps to determine if this is the kind of person you can see yourself growing old (past the November drop date) with, or the kind of girl/guy you will have to avoid in your Monday lecture hall from now on. Let me break it down for you and tell you where you should be going. Let these venues be a test of whether that guy you think is sort of cute is actually worthy of your precious procrastination time.

1) Reg Hartt's Cine-forum, 463 Bathurst St - Reg Hartt is a Toronto force of nature who screens art films in his living room. He delivers fabulous (and all too inspiring) lectures about how everyone should drop out of school and experiment with LSD and sex before his Salvador Dali triple bills. If you are with some wimp from Etobicoke who doesn't understand art and freaks out because Reg's "movie theatre" is just a bunch of lawn chairs, then it's best you know now. Nosferatu set to Radiohead's Kid A is too esoteric an experience to be shared with a dweeb.

2) Honest Ed's, 581 Bloor St W - Honest Ed's is the best place to go to understand the concept of irony. How can you not get (for example) why hologram place mats complete with an Ed Mirvish-style rendition of The Last Supper are completely amazing? This store is more than shopping; it is a time for pointing out the utter weirdness that surrounds you. In no other building will bejeweled life-sized statues from the Orient (I love to think of Ed as some kind of modern day Columbus), canned anchovies and faux Louis Vuitton purses mix in such badly lit ways. Think of Honest Ed's as a chance to see what sense of humor your date has, because that's important. Bonus if they buy you 3 packs of stale gum for a dollar. (It's the little things that count.)

3) Rivera Bakery, 576 College St - Classier than the traditional Future Bakery pseudo-date, this café is too nice to let the your date be confused what your intentions are. I'm telling you, it's the place to go if you like that chick from your geography class just a little bit too much to go somewhere pedestrian.

4) See a play, eat food: it really is that simple. Watching a play is a nice, reactive way to spend an evening with someone you like. Think about it: you get to seem smart and intellectual, you get to talk about literature, and paying for their ticket isn't such a big deal when it's pay what you can. Ideally see something romantic (nix on anything German or about incest), and make sure to laugh at the right spots. Then afterwards, go get coffee somewhere nice (Tequila Bookworm and the Epicure Café are both conveniently close by to Passe Muraille and Factory) and talk about how undervalued theatre is in today's modern society. Hey, how do you think Arthur Miller landed Marilyn Monroe?

5) The Toronto Zoo, somewhere in Scarberia - A classic with a make-out potential at least equaling your high school prom. I don't know what it is about caged animals (especially when practically everyone I know is a vegan and champion of animal rights) but seeing panda bears in the flesh brings people back to childhood or something.

If any of these dating ideas work out, please do not hesitate to let me know and I'll live through you. Frankly, dating makes me feel really uncomfortable.