I don't want to be a Skinny Bitch

Have you been to the bookstore lately? I have, and I saw a book that drew me in with just its title: it was Skinny Bitch, by Kim Barnouin and Rory Freedman. I was so mesmerized by their promises that anyone could become a "skinny bitch" that I started reading.

It soon became plainly evident that the book is essentially a starvation manual for people who are desperate, and haven't heard of the concept of eating healthy foods in small portions and exercising regularly. To make a long story short, Barnouin and Freedman essentially tell you that you should remove pretty much everything from your diet: dairy, sugar, meat, alcohol, caffeine, and most carbohydrates. They might as well have told women to grab a head of lettuce and start chomping.

Its witty writing started to wear on my nerves fast: the book was full of crass statements like "being a fat pig will hinder you, sober or drunk." Yeah? Well, going to parties and talking about nothing but your fabulous new lentil recipes will probably hinder you too!

While these proclamations were admittedly funny at the beginning, the advice they dispensed was laughable.

Since these two are former models, it's understandable that they spent their lives looking after their (lack of) nutrition and had nothing else to do. Unfortunately, for people who have things other than the diet-fad-of-the-month on their minds, it's damn near impossible to plan your meals a week or two in advance.

Factor in students' hectic schedules and lack of healthy choices, and you'll find that eating only salads, three times a day just isn't realistic.

While their crash diet/Gulag starvation plan may initially melt the pounds away, you'd be hard-pressed to find someone who is able to actually maintain the lifestyle they preach for more than two weeks.

Yes, being a vegan is probably healthier, and yes, animal cruelty is terrible, but not everyone can live off seeds and vegetables.

It's great if you have the willpower to do so, but it's not an option for everybody, and not everyone who doesn't follow the "skinny bitch" diet is a cow, either. I'm a huge proponent of eating healthy food, and I can honestly say that switching to whole grains, soy milk, and cutting out caffeine made me feel much better, and made me drop more than a few pounds.

Would I have been able to also cut out meat, cheese, most carbohydrates, and eggs? Nope.

The authors refuse to acknowledge eggs as a protein source, draw inaccurate analogies between humans and animals with very different digestive systems, and fail to actually give scientifically accurate facts.

Try reading the chapter where they claim that mucus is poison and say that no animals or people should eat dairy because it produces evil mucus that causes crazy allergies.

They also ignore key segments of the population, such as diabetics, and advise eating lots of fruit (something that is absolutely forbidden to people on low-sugar diets).

Barnouin and Freedman paint an unrealistic picture in assuming that everyone has the wherewithal and energy to devote their entire existence to cooking and planning meals that consist of beans and spinach.

That just isn't true. I thought we'd come a long way from the grapefruit diets of the 50s, but this book serves up one more route on the road to emaciation.

With a diet like theirs, you'd likely end up being skinny, but the constant deprivation and mood swings would probably make you a bitch, too. No thanks.