TOP BOB To Become Major Motion Picture

A week before its opening at the Isabel Bader Theatre, Top Bob -- the 135th installment of the Vic College's legendary Bob Comedy Revue -- has already been optioned by Paramount Studios to become a major motion picture."We've been thinking about this project as a movie for a while", said Paramount's CEO Brad Grey. "We just never had the technology. But now, with CG as advanced as it is, we're finally able to translate this thing for the big screen".

Bob director Ann Pornel had previously refused to let studios consider Top Bob as a movie because of her concern that they would not do the show's elaborate set pieces nearly as well as it was done on the stage.

"Seriously, any adaptation of Top Bob would not have been able to do the giant mechanical spider fight justice, but now with CGI the way it is, I think they might be able to pull it off".

Other set pieces of concern include an elaborate sequence involving paragliding superninjas, a scene where they fight off a nuclear powered-giant squid from devouring the great barrier reef, and the notorious "orgy of a thousand Bruce Willis look-alikes".

"I can understand why movie executives would be worried about trying to recreate that," confessed Pornel.

Grey acknowledged, though, that the biggest challenge to making a Top Bob movie will be bringing the authentic Bob experience to the big screen.

"We really want to make you feel like you're seeing a live college sketch comedy show", noted Grey. Grey plans to accomplish this by giving a bottle of Jack Daniel's to every ticket buyer with the instruction that anyone who does not finish the bottle will not be allowed to leave the theatre. Also, a bunch of rowdy teenagers will be planted to start yelling things at the screen part way through.

But Grey remains optimistic, as Top Bob: The Movie is slated to be released December 2010, just in time for that year's Academy Awards.

"It's our studio's prestige piece," he noted.

While the show has not yet been seen by members of the general public, critical reaction has been very positive so far, with one reviewer calling the show "pants-soilingly funny" (Ann Pornel, of topbob2007.com), and another describing it as "the best Bob yet" (also Pornel).

Though many of the show's sketches remain under tight wraps (actors have been instructed to punch anyone who asks about the show's content square in the jaw) the story is said to revolve around an elite team of young comedians training to overcome the unfunny world that surrounds them (the trailer can be seen at topbob2007.com).

While the film adaptation's casting is uncertain, Matt Damon remains in talks to play the role of Marcel Dragonieri, while Michael Clarke Duncan is reportedly "still being considered" for the job of Brandon Hackett. Bob Saget is reportedly lobbying hard for the role of Chris Berube.

Reports that Halle Berry would play Ann Pornel were quashed by the starlet, however, when Stranded got in touch.

"I know what you're thinking--'Halle, you'd be perfect! This would be great for your artistic credibility", the star told us, "but you can only win so many Oscars, right?"

Supposedly, Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer have reportedly approached the producers about reprising their roles from their roles from Top Gun - the film upon which this year's theme is losely based - as extraordinarily heterosexual (and frequently shirtless) hotshot fighter pilots.

"I don't know about that," noted Grey, "there's really nothing like that in Top Bob".

Although other attempted film adaptations of sketch comedy shows--including Second City: The Crying, A Very Mad TV Christmas and Wayne and Shuster vs. MechaGodzilla--were commercial and artistic flops, Grey remains optimistic.

"It's the perfect type of product for us: it has more explosions, battle scenes, crying and shirtless-ness than Spider-Man and Wild Wild West combined!"

To that, all we can say is: sign us up!

TOP BOB runs November 15th, 16th and 17th at the Isabel Bader Theatre. Tickets are on sale for $5 through the VUSAC office in advance, or $7 at the door. Group discounts are available for those that get in touch enough in advance.